I am the one who goes in to work every day yelling for fair trade coffee. I am the one that they try not to talk to. They know everything annoys me and I see how they hush their voices, trying to hide the fact that they are eating meat or drinking nescafe or doing some other thing I am anti.

I am anti. The fact remains that seriously I wonder if they were all veggie and protested against Proctor and Gamble, if I would start wearing fur coats and eating in McDonalds? I cant believe that I would but maybe thats who I am. I am the annoying militant vegetarian that all the other vegans/vegetarians hate because I give them a bad name. I know it, I read vegan with avengance and I know I am not supposed to be militant. It's just that some days I get out of bed having dreamt of ways to be socially unpleasing. How to rub someone up the wrong way or provoke an argument where I remind them that everything they do is worthless and they need to start scrutinizing themselves as I do myself. As a form of annorexia almost, I find new things to starve myself of. I find new joys to cut out and abolish. I am determined, having said that, that I will not become a bastard non smoker now I have quit. But who knows. The grand national cant come and go without me bursting a blood vessell that I didnt rant enough about it!

And I wonder why they dont invite me to the pub, of course they arent going to after I send an email round warning of the beers, wines and spirits that contain animal products or have been tested on animals.

Am I doomed to be that little girl that stands in the corner of the playground with my head on the wall watching the street for my mum to pass by on her way to the shops?

Will I always try so hard to find reasons to not fit in?